The revenge of the dishwasher

by ayallawt | November 2, 2009 11:21 pm

Did you ever have one of these days? where nothing works and disaster looms in every corner?
My day started when I innocently opened the dishwasher’s door, only to meet the foul draft of  the very insulted dishes I forgot there the night before. Sighing, I shoved a few fossiled coffee cups into the beast’s mouth and chose the “sanitize rinse”, just to make sure everything in there will be nice and dead.

Now, I don’t remember if I mentioned this before, but I hate this dishwasher. With every fiber of my being. It was an expensive piece of %^&* we bought from a very talented sales woman, to whom I wish a bad, bad cold that will alter her voice forever to the one of a 56-year-old chain-smoking truck driver (hopefully, she will smell like him too). It takes an eternity to work (and I choose “work” over “wash” since it doesn’t), it is noisy to the degree of silencing the  most lively dinner party  (which I would throw more often if they didn’t always end up resembling Yo-gaba-gaba[1]), and, oh yeah,  IT DOESN’T WORK. We practically have to wash the dishes by hand before putting them in this traitorous piece of junk because if we don’t, it ends up baking the food remains on top of them. Did I mention how much I hate this dishwasher yet?

Today I think  machine won over woman. It probably decided to finally get back at me for all these nasty remarks I sweetly whisper in its ears every morning when there are no witnesses around. When I victoriously opened it’s ungrateful doors, expecting the sweet smell of soap, I saw that the beast has used it’s evil powers to strike me where it really hurts. My food processor bowl. My beloved food processor. My faithful friend that has saved me time (and knuckles), is forever destroyed. Now, to all of you who side with my non-compassionate husband (he has this nonsensical idea about not putting plastic in the dishwasher), I can testify that all other plastic came out of this ordeal safe and sound. All except my sturdy, ultra thick, food processor bowl.

I hate this dishwasher. I guess now it’s pretty clear that it hates me right back.

Endnotes:
  1. Yo-gaba-gaba: http://www.nickjr.com/yo-gabba-gabba/

Source URL: http://www.saltandpaprika.com/2009/11/02/the-revenge-of-the-dishwasher/